The May sunshine has given me a heat rash, more freckles than necessary and a spurt of weeds that require the digging of an archaeologist; not to mention bird shit. There is enough on my car to fertilise a few pots and enough on the window to make me get out cleaning equipment, which haven’t seen the light of day since lockdown.
As I write this I am staring out of my loft window at an elderly seagull staring back at me, like it is my fault there is bugger all to eat. He has been there for days, mesmerized by a plate of biscuits… like he can will them to levitate through the window and beyond…
Or perhaps I’ve just had too much coffee?
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